Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Kitchen Aide Accident!

It was late, and I was working under a heavy cloud of sleep deprivation.

I was up very late two nights in a row trying to prepare a lesson to be

observed by my new boss. The lesson went extraordinarily well, and as

always, I had promised my students a great reward for their extra effort.

After a long stressful day at work, a grocery store run for supplies,

and a fully cooked meal for the family, I set to work on the cupcakes

of my dreams. The first mistake I made, (which looking back,

should have tipped me off on how this project was going to go) was

purchasing a generic brand of cake mix. It had an odd texture,

and did not seem to mix well by hand. So, I dug out the handmaiden of all

handmaidens my precious Kitchen Aide!

I placed the contents in the bowl and set her to work…..

And then… well, I got a bit side tracked and ….. let’s just say

the consistency was no longer chunky but very very smooth

and very very aerated.  “oh well, they will still taste good right?”

and away I proceed. I then fill 24 cups to the top, (against the cupcake instructions)

because of course I want huge, impressive,  high top cupcakes like you find at Costco!

But, no, that is NOT what I got. What I got was a cupcake disaster that

resembled Pangaea, complete with all the tops connecting perfectly

to form a nearly solid flat surface. 

Well, scratch those, and start again,

After scrubbing the muffin tin clean for 20 minutes,

the rest of them baked oaky with little mishap.

But wait there’s more!

As my barely-tolerable cupcakes cooled I began my butter-cream

frosting. Hope renewed, I start with my butter and whip it in my

mixer till smooth and begin to add the first cup of powdered sugar.

{The rest of this story happened in a matter of seconds but in my

fatigued mind it was in very slow motion} As I am dumping the powdered

sugar I feel my grip on the cup loosen and I watch it as it falls into the bowl

of speedily whipping butter. Like a bomb going off there is a truly

magnificent explosion of butter and sugar in a perfect spray pattern

across my kitchen, across me and across the face of my three-year-olds

angelically, surprised face. The grinding of the motor and the off-beat scraping

sounds of my priceless Kitchen Aide wakes me from a trance of shock. I here

myself saying turn… it… off… stupid! 

and I gradually feel my arm catching up with my slow reacting mind as

I see my arm reach out to turn the abused mixer off. The clanging stops

and my eyes scan and assess the damage. My Son stands affixed,

wide-eyed in wonderment covered in icing! I see what can only be described

as a beautifully powdered wall, black table and dark tile indicating all too

perfectly the location and direction of the detonation. My husband emerges

cautiously from the office located at the furthest end of the kitchen and does

a quick assessment of the incident and then he, with some hesitation in his

voice asks,…what the heck happened?  It was at that moment that

 I l-o-s-t, lost it! I gave in to hysterical laughter! How could I not?

I mean, I have been cooking and baking since I was seven, what a completely

amateur move!   

                      These pictures could never give it justice!

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Fortunately, my engineer of a husband was able to

bend my whip back into a usable shape and there was no

permanent damage to my favorite kitchen helper!

 

The show must go on, so I proceeded to finish my cupcakes.

I was up till midnight but I got them done. In my opinion, they

were the worst tasting but most adorable looking cupcakes.

 

I thought that it would be fitting to take at least one photo

with the splattered table as the backdrop.

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I did sweep the floor that night but the table and walls did not

get cleaned until the next day!

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In the words of my students. “WOW Those are awesome!”

They loved the story about the exploding cupcakes and

the epic story spread through the school hallways that day.

 

 

 

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